Speaking and Listening

Sunday is a rather important milestone for me. I am speaking in church for the first time. I have been involved in my local church for several years, I have assisted with communion and lead parts of the litergy (the parts that don't require and ordained minister to lead - obviously) but I have never actually had to "preach" before (I do hate that word) but on Sunday - Rev Andy has asked me to speak at both my local church and the church in the next village along, about Jesus turning the water into wine - the first miracle of Christ.

I have had quite a lot of time to plan what I am going to say - I have spent many hours re-reading the passage and looking for ideas. I have found some good insights from various books and speakers about the importance of the first miracle. I read between the lines, tried to work out what the situation was that caused Jesus to act when he clearly had no desire to do so. ("Why do you ask this of me, woman, my time has not yet come") and I got so hung up on what to say, how to say it, was it right that I totally forgot the reason I was speaking in the first place.

It got me wondering. I wonder how many people that speak on a regular basis actually sit and listen to God. Just having a silent time of peace and quite, sitting in his presence and listening to exactly what he wants them to say. I have come to the firm conclusion that the most important part of a speakers role is to listen. I think it is vital. Not only does it demonstrate a willingness to speak the words that God wants spoken but also it shows a humility, I think, that the speaker is not standing before a congregation for a sense of self importance but because they have a poignant message to deliver.

The Rev has been really good - he has not spoon fed me the answers or given me a shove in the right direction, he has given me trust that I know what I am doing and that when I speak it won't be me but the words of God that are aptly conveyed to the congregation. It was not until last night that I realised that for speaking in church the most important part was listening. I've been too meticulous in planning, what trick will I use to accompany my talk, what level should I pitch it at, should I get some of the children up to help that I have totally forgotten to just sit and be quite and listen to what God wants me to say.

So as I sit here before the computer attempting to put fingers to keys in order to plan the final aspects of my talk for Sunday, I have actually decided not to. I am not going to write a script and learn it parrot fashion in order to rattle off a meaningless set of sentences that I believe are in the correct order. Nor am I going to go completely unprepared. It would not reflect very well on the glory of Christ if I stood before the congregation on Sunday and flapped and flustered my way through a presentation of poor quality. I am, however, not going to let myself stress too much about it. I am confident that God wants me to get used to standing up and talking to people in church and I pray that the skills I have learned in my secular work as an entertainer will come into play and the combination of faith and ability will see me through.

I'll let you know how it goes.