Yesterday (25th July 2010) I gave my first talk at Granborough church. It was a strange time, I have stood before those people and performed magic as a child, as a youth and as a professional, I've lead parts of the service and served communion - but I had never spoken before. Not given my thoughts on parts of the Bible, not been responsible for the teaching.
I looked out upon the congregation and I was struck by how many of the people sitting there had been an intergral part of my Christian life. Alison, my church youth leader, her daughters, some of my earliest Christian friends and role models, Andy, the vicar I had announced to 12 years ago that some day I was also going to be a vicar and a man that was now helping me through the selection process to make good on my word. Doing my first talk amongst friends and neighbors was both a comfort but also added pressure. Not to mention the bittersweet reminder that in September 2010 i'll be moving on.
I started with a trick. I thought it would be a good plan to start within my comfort zone and then work out of it. I performed a trick that I did not normally do but the polished professional came through and managed to perform it to an acceptable standard. It was not until I started my 'sermon' that the nerves kicked in. So, what did I say? Here it is:
When I was first asked to speak about the first miracle of Jesus, turning the water into wine, I didn't have a clue where to begin. I re-read the story and naturally started to compare the events in John 2 to the other miracles of Christ.
In the grand scheme of things the water into wine miracle does not seem to be that special. It is certainly not on the same scale as Jesus having control over the elements and calming the storm, or holding dominion over the natural world by walking on water and healing the sick. It did not affect thousands of people like the feeding of the 5000 did and nor did it show power over death like the raising of Lazarus.
But what it does show is that Jesus Christ is the king of transformation. Nothing you can put before him cannot be changed by his command. It gives a hint to what is to come - that at the end of his life he will transform sinners into saints by his death upon the cross. The water used in the miracle did not come from jars intended for drinking but from ceremonial washing jars. Perhaps showing that out of the old laws and ancient practices Jesus was coming in glory and transforming a new kingdom of God. He took something ceremonial and made it into something celebratory.
There is, however, a point within the story that I feel is more important. Simply that is showed the true nature of Christ. Again he was presented with an oppertunity where he could have stood before the Bridal party, the master of ceremoinies, his family and friends and all the guests and made a flamboyant display of his power. Jesus chose not to. He acted quietly and without a fuss, so much so that when the wine was presented to the host of the party he did not even know where it had come from.
But the servants knew. He had decided to show his glory and power to those in the very lowest position - very much in keeping with his birth in a humble stable in Bethlehem in the company of lowly shepherds brought in from the hillsides. Once again Jesus demonstrates he is the servant king, the first come last and the last come first. Building a new kingdom of God from the ground up.
However, I did not believe that we can write off the fact that Jesus assisted in a difficult situation of a family friend, one that could have caused great embarrassment and diminished community standing if word got around that the wine ran out and the guests were not provided for, simply because his mother asked him to help. In doing so he honoured her and gave glory to his heavenly father - giving faith to those that followed him.
Monday 26 July 2010
Friday 23 July 2010
Speaking and Listening
Sunday is a rather important milestone for me. I am speaking in church for the first time. I have been involved in my local church for several years, I have assisted with communion and lead parts of the litergy (the parts that don't require and ordained minister to lead - obviously) but I have never actually had to "preach" before (I do hate that word) but on Sunday - Rev Andy has asked me to speak at both my local church and the church in the next village along, about Jesus turning the water into wine - the first miracle of Christ.
I have had quite a lot of time to plan what I am going to say - I have spent many hours re-reading the passage and looking for ideas. I have found some good insights from various books and speakers about the importance of the first miracle. I read between the lines, tried to work out what the situation was that caused Jesus to act when he clearly had no desire to do so. ("Why do you ask this of me, woman, my time has not yet come") and I got so hung up on what to say, how to say it, was it right that I totally forgot the reason I was speaking in the first place.
It got me wondering. I wonder how many people that speak on a regular basis actually sit and listen to God. Just having a silent time of peace and quite, sitting in his presence and listening to exactly what he wants them to say. I have come to the firm conclusion that the most important part of a speakers role is to listen. I think it is vital. Not only does it demonstrate a willingness to speak the words that God wants spoken but also it shows a humility, I think, that the speaker is not standing before a congregation for a sense of self importance but because they have a poignant message to deliver.
The Rev has been really good - he has not spoon fed me the answers or given me a shove in the right direction, he has given me trust that I know what I am doing and that when I speak it won't be me but the words of God that are aptly conveyed to the congregation. It was not until last night that I realised that for speaking in church the most important part was listening. I've been too meticulous in planning, what trick will I use to accompany my talk, what level should I pitch it at, should I get some of the children up to help that I have totally forgotten to just sit and be quite and listen to what God wants me to say.
So as I sit here before the computer attempting to put fingers to keys in order to plan the final aspects of my talk for Sunday, I have actually decided not to. I am not going to write a script and learn it parrot fashion in order to rattle off a meaningless set of sentences that I believe are in the correct order. Nor am I going to go completely unprepared. It would not reflect very well on the glory of Christ if I stood before the congregation on Sunday and flapped and flustered my way through a presentation of poor quality. I am, however, not going to let myself stress too much about it. I am confident that God wants me to get used to standing up and talking to people in church and I pray that the skills I have learned in my secular work as an entertainer will come into play and the combination of faith and ability will see me through.
I'll let you know how it goes.
I have had quite a lot of time to plan what I am going to say - I have spent many hours re-reading the passage and looking for ideas. I have found some good insights from various books and speakers about the importance of the first miracle. I read between the lines, tried to work out what the situation was that caused Jesus to act when he clearly had no desire to do so. ("Why do you ask this of me, woman, my time has not yet come") and I got so hung up on what to say, how to say it, was it right that I totally forgot the reason I was speaking in the first place.
It got me wondering. I wonder how many people that speak on a regular basis actually sit and listen to God. Just having a silent time of peace and quite, sitting in his presence and listening to exactly what he wants them to say. I have come to the firm conclusion that the most important part of a speakers role is to listen. I think it is vital. Not only does it demonstrate a willingness to speak the words that God wants spoken but also it shows a humility, I think, that the speaker is not standing before a congregation for a sense of self importance but because they have a poignant message to deliver.
The Rev has been really good - he has not spoon fed me the answers or given me a shove in the right direction, he has given me trust that I know what I am doing and that when I speak it won't be me but the words of God that are aptly conveyed to the congregation. It was not until last night that I realised that for speaking in church the most important part was listening. I've been too meticulous in planning, what trick will I use to accompany my talk, what level should I pitch it at, should I get some of the children up to help that I have totally forgotten to just sit and be quite and listen to what God wants me to say.
So as I sit here before the computer attempting to put fingers to keys in order to plan the final aspects of my talk for Sunday, I have actually decided not to. I am not going to write a script and learn it parrot fashion in order to rattle off a meaningless set of sentences that I believe are in the correct order. Nor am I going to go completely unprepared. It would not reflect very well on the glory of Christ if I stood before the congregation on Sunday and flapped and flustered my way through a presentation of poor quality. I am, however, not going to let myself stress too much about it. I am confident that God wants me to get used to standing up and talking to people in church and I pray that the skills I have learned in my secular work as an entertainer will come into play and the combination of faith and ability will see me through.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Monday 19 July 2010
Church Politics
I did not intend to be posting again so soon. I thought I would leave my blog to settle in before I attempted to write more but I have been given a hint of inspiration by something that someone has posted on my Facebook wall this evening.
A lady from the local community who remembers me from performing at a Christian Fellowship meeting when I was younger and newer to magic (and I don't mind saying - I was awful - I actually remember the performance well as one of the most painful experiences of my life and it made me give up magic until my good friend Tom talked me back into it - thank God) and also from performing at her children's birthday parties. (When I was older and more professional I hasten to add) - she has wished me well in my new ventures and said that the Vineyard group will pray for me too.
It was that last sentiment that struck me. I am not from the Vineyard church, I have been to some Vineyard meetings here and there and I do enjoy the charismatic style of worship. However, it is commonly known that Vineyard (which, if I am correct in saying, came over from America or Canada originally) and the Church of England do not usually make great bedfellows. (Probably not the best turn of phrase for a blog about Church Politics) but it was that fellowship that really made me smile.
Despite the denominational differences in the two groups (and indeed all church groups) there is still at the heart of it all a good community of people that love each other. Granted you are always going to get the occasional loose cannon or uptight traditionalist that believes a very set line and nothing else but on the whole most Christians that I have met are good eggs and have a lot of affection for others, especially those that have come to know Christ.
I am not by any means saying that we are a perfect bunch. Far from it. Sometimes I have know Christians (myself included) to act in the most unchristian ways and hide under a banner of faith, dogma or Bible text. Sometimes I listen to the way people speak and claim to be all forgiving, all inclusive and all supporting but actually are the complete opposite (I was very much like that when I was younger - everything was black and white with no gray areas and no room for differences) but it was the words of Julie this evening though that reminded me that there is a Christian fellowship.
It needs work, it needs promoting and more often than not it needs patching up, rebuilding and sometimes even remodeling but it is there.
A lady from the local community who remembers me from performing at a Christian Fellowship meeting when I was younger and newer to magic (and I don't mind saying - I was awful - I actually remember the performance well as one of the most painful experiences of my life and it made me give up magic until my good friend Tom talked me back into it - thank God) and also from performing at her children's birthday parties. (When I was older and more professional I hasten to add) - she has wished me well in my new ventures and said that the Vineyard group will pray for me too.
It was that last sentiment that struck me. I am not from the Vineyard church, I have been to some Vineyard meetings here and there and I do enjoy the charismatic style of worship. However, it is commonly known that Vineyard (which, if I am correct in saying, came over from America or Canada originally) and the Church of England do not usually make great bedfellows. (Probably not the best turn of phrase for a blog about Church Politics) but it was that fellowship that really made me smile.
Despite the denominational differences in the two groups (and indeed all church groups) there is still at the heart of it all a good community of people that love each other. Granted you are always going to get the occasional loose cannon or uptight traditionalist that believes a very set line and nothing else but on the whole most Christians that I have met are good eggs and have a lot of affection for others, especially those that have come to know Christ.
I am not by any means saying that we are a perfect bunch. Far from it. Sometimes I have know Christians (myself included) to act in the most unchristian ways and hide under a banner of faith, dogma or Bible text. Sometimes I listen to the way people speak and claim to be all forgiving, all inclusive and all supporting but actually are the complete opposite (I was very much like that when I was younger - everything was black and white with no gray areas and no room for differences) but it was the words of Julie this evening though that reminded me that there is a Christian fellowship.
It needs work, it needs promoting and more often than not it needs patching up, rebuilding and sometimes even remodeling but it is there.
The Journey Begins
I wrestled for some time with what to call this blog and wondered if it was worth starting in the first place. I didn't do very much with my entertainment based blog although many people said I should post more (for those kind comments I am grateful) however this blog is going to be more than just a communication to those that I know and love to keep them updated with my progress. It is going to be the place where I share the thoughts, feelings, fears, concerns and times of great joy as I take the next steps in the plan that God has for me.
Let me get you up to date:
Currently I am, as many of you know, a self employed entertainer. I have been since I left school. Performing magic, juggling and general foolishness at parties and events across the country. I have loved every moment of it, I have enjoyed the freedom it has allowed me - answering to no boss but myself, working with some fantastic entertainers and brilliant organisers and generally making people happy. There really is nothing I enjoy more than the feeling of an event going totally to plan, children laughing and adults relaxed and happy because they have had a stress free time. The hours are erratic, often long and in strange weather conditions and the amount of travel is monumental. Sometimes events are horrible and I feel like an inconvenience rather than an enhancement to the event. However, in September all that changes. I am telling the taxman I am trading no more and I am, so to speak, hanging up my magic wand for the time being.
I have been offered a post as a Youth and Children's Assistant over in Christ Church Chorleywood. A really lovely Evangelical church in the heart of a community. I am going to be housed and have a basic living cost provided for me and in return ill be working as part of the church staff team helping to run events for the youth and children of the local area. It will be a full time job, pretty much, with Thursday off each week and the odd Saturday (according to the current interns) - I am really excited about the prospect but also daunted too. It is a huge change. Ill be living away from home for the first time ever in a house with two relative strangers (I have met one chap already - Jon - but only for a short amount of time) and living in a huge town - a rather large step up from my quiet village life. Why am I doing this? My DDO (Diocesan Director of Ordination) wants me to experience a larger church with a different worship style in an urban area before I am put forward to selection and ultimately (God's will be done) off to Vicar Factory for training.
What am I expecting? A lot of hard work, long hours and challenges faced from working with young people. I know that is is going to test my faith, my patience and my body at time but I am thankful that I already have experience and gifts suitable to this work. Hopefully I can bring something positive to those that I work with and help them along their own journeys as I continue in mine. I am also expecting a lot of fun and laughter - the team at CC are fantastic and the reception I received on my interview day was so warm that it felt as though I had been attending the church for years rather than arriving at 10am that morning.
So, July and August are filled with my last entertainment events as a full time entertainer, magician and general clown. It is going to be a very sad time. Packing up my stuff and stowing it safely in this little office that has been the base of my operations for years. Packing up my life and moving away from family and friends that I have been around for nearly 25 years. I never attended university, I never lived away from this community and I would be lying if I said I was not going to miss it. I am going to miss it terribly. These are the people I have grown up around, the church that has been a part of my Christian life since I was Christened age 9. Leaving the comfort and safety of my own self employment, being master of my own destiny and in control of my own life to putting total trust in God, is a very scary thought. However I have a strong faith, I have been through a lot in my relationship with God so far and I know that however many times I fail ill be picked up, dusted off and put back on the right path.
Prayers would be appreciated as I go through this change - a smooth transition on my next step would be welcome and Ill keep you all updated as to my progress.
God Bless
Sam
Let me get you up to date:
Currently I am, as many of you know, a self employed entertainer. I have been since I left school. Performing magic, juggling and general foolishness at parties and events across the country. I have loved every moment of it, I have enjoyed the freedom it has allowed me - answering to no boss but myself, working with some fantastic entertainers and brilliant organisers and generally making people happy. There really is nothing I enjoy more than the feeling of an event going totally to plan, children laughing and adults relaxed and happy because they have had a stress free time. The hours are erratic, often long and in strange weather conditions and the amount of travel is monumental. Sometimes events are horrible and I feel like an inconvenience rather than an enhancement to the event. However, in September all that changes. I am telling the taxman I am trading no more and I am, so to speak, hanging up my magic wand for the time being.
I have been offered a post as a Youth and Children's Assistant over in Christ Church Chorleywood. A really lovely Evangelical church in the heart of a community. I am going to be housed and have a basic living cost provided for me and in return ill be working as part of the church staff team helping to run events for the youth and children of the local area. It will be a full time job, pretty much, with Thursday off each week and the odd Saturday (according to the current interns) - I am really excited about the prospect but also daunted too. It is a huge change. Ill be living away from home for the first time ever in a house with two relative strangers (I have met one chap already - Jon - but only for a short amount of time) and living in a huge town - a rather large step up from my quiet village life. Why am I doing this? My DDO (Diocesan Director of Ordination) wants me to experience a larger church with a different worship style in an urban area before I am put forward to selection and ultimately (God's will be done) off to Vicar Factory for training.
What am I expecting? A lot of hard work, long hours and challenges faced from working with young people. I know that is is going to test my faith, my patience and my body at time but I am thankful that I already have experience and gifts suitable to this work. Hopefully I can bring something positive to those that I work with and help them along their own journeys as I continue in mine. I am also expecting a lot of fun and laughter - the team at CC are fantastic and the reception I received on my interview day was so warm that it felt as though I had been attending the church for years rather than arriving at 10am that morning.
So, July and August are filled with my last entertainment events as a full time entertainer, magician and general clown. It is going to be a very sad time. Packing up my stuff and stowing it safely in this little office that has been the base of my operations for years. Packing up my life and moving away from family and friends that I have been around for nearly 25 years. I never attended university, I never lived away from this community and I would be lying if I said I was not going to miss it. I am going to miss it terribly. These are the people I have grown up around, the church that has been a part of my Christian life since I was Christened age 9. Leaving the comfort and safety of my own self employment, being master of my own destiny and in control of my own life to putting total trust in God, is a very scary thought. However I have a strong faith, I have been through a lot in my relationship with God so far and I know that however many times I fail ill be picked up, dusted off and put back on the right path.
Prayers would be appreciated as I go through this change - a smooth transition on my next step would be welcome and Ill keep you all updated as to my progress.
God Bless
Sam
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)